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Da Doo Ron Ron

My arrogance is astounding when compared to my ability.

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone



-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

- Hail Hydra

(via rachelhaimowitz)


ugh i want to get really uncomfortably rich and then just. go around and anonymously donate huge amounts of money to people for things like HEY youre trying to move away from your abusive parents?? BAM 10 thousand mystery dollars oh whats that your dog needs surgery?? BAM paid for hey you cant afford to go to that con with your friends?? BAM better get your cosplay ready you fucking nerd

(via sconesandteaforall)


Seriously, it kills me when I see people hold scientists up as pinnacles of logic and reason.

Because one time the professor I was interning for got punched in the face by another professor, because mine got the funding, and told the other professor his theory was stupid.

This same professor told me to throw rocks to scare the “stupid fucking crabs” into moving so we could count them properly.


(via rachelhaimowitz)


Ah gastro, my old foe, we meet again at last. It’s been some years since last we interacted but that power spew I did in the garden at work really made up for lost time.

Oh. My. Gosh. I left a trail of spew throughout the house. From the kitchen to the laundry. I think we’ve all learned our lesson, no more parties.

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